Magic Relationship Ratio

by Lindsay on July 19, 2010

in Relationships

Take a moment to think about your relationship: do you and your partner speak to each other in more negative ways or positive ways? One of the things I really love about my partner is that she is almost always positive with me (and in others ways as well). On a daily basis, we exchange “I love you” countless times, even on bad days. Physical affection and love are in abundance.

In this video, John Gottman explains the magic relationship ratio. That is, for every 1 negative thing in a relationship (hurt feelings, criticism, anger, hostility) you need to say/do 5 positive things (compliments, affirmations, being kind, asking questions, showing affection). Relationships that last have a 5:1 ratio.

What do you think? I think I’m going to make every effort I follow the 5:1 ratio – not just in my romantic relationship, but in all relationships.

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