“Look upon every experience you’ve ever had, and everyone who’s ever played any role in your life, as having been sent to you for your benefit. In this universe, which was created by a divine, organizing intelligence, there are simply no accidents.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
When we’re in the thick of drama with someone – be it a family member, girlfriend or boyfriend, friend or the guy who cut in line in front of us – it may not feel like there could be any benefit from knowing that person. Especially if they’re causing us grief, heartache or some other feeling that is not-so-pleasant. Sometimes we may not see their benefit in our lives until long after the dust has settled but sure enough, that ‘silver lining’ is always there – the lesson that helped you grow into a better person. A more patient person. A more loving, tolerant, forgiving person. On the chalkboard of life, everyone’s a teacher.
Before we are ever born, we make ‘soul contracts’. We agree on the people we’ll meet, the lessons to be learned in this lifetime and the pre-destined events and agreements. Each person that comes into your life is here to offer you an opportunity to stretch, grow and heal in some way. While our entire lives are not pre-ordained, many of those we have relationships with are souls we agreed to embark on a journey with long before birth.
People play different roles in our lives: cheerleaders, antagonists, friends, heart-breakers, partners, so-called enemies, etc…No matter what form a person takes on in your life, they are here to teach you something about yourself, about others, about life. Think about the people you’ve had relationships with (parents, siblings, past loves, current loves). They’ve all taught us something. Not convinced? Consider these indicators of having a soul contract with someone:
- This person pushes your buttons, bringing old wounds to the surface, forcing you to stop ignoring them.
- Mirrors your weaknesses and flaws
- Offers support, encouragement and acts as your cheerleader
- Shines with qualities you admire and that you want to take on yourself
- Acts as a role model
- Teaches you about something new you’ve never heard of
- Pulls at your heart-strings, triggers guilt or projects victim-hood so you can learn to see beyond these illusions
- Teaches you unconditional love and forgiveness through example
While some people’s presence in our lives come from a deeper, soul contract connection, everyone we encounter in our lives has meaning and can teach us a lesson. That includes (but of course isn’t limited to):
- A co-worker who insists on crunching the loudest foods at the most inopportune times (i.e., between 9am-5pm)
- The man who butt in line in front of you with no regard or care
- The friend who hurt your feelings but won’t acknowledge it
- The neighbors upstairs or next door who make seemingly unhuman-like noises at odd hours
- The person who stole your bike (the jerk!)
- The woman who bought the last chocolate croissant that you had your eyes on while standing in line
No matter how painful, how annoying, how simply wonderful anyone is – they are all here to teach us lessons. It’s good to ask yourself “What can I learn from this?” in the heat of the moment (and even in retrospect). I’ll try to remember that the next time someone else buys the last chocolate croissant.