What is a soul mate?

What is a soul mate?

by Lindsay on December 7, 2010

in Relationships, Souls, Spirituality

This is part 3 of 5 of the “Soul Series”. [Part 1] [Part 2]

We’ve talked about what a soul is. Covered what a soul group is and how we know if someone is part of ours. So what about soul mates? We all hear so much about having a soul mate and deep down, it’s what many of us long for.  I touched on that a bit here: Signs you’ve met your soul mate.

The subject of soul mates is one of interest for lots of us. We’re curious about how and when we will meet our soul mate. We wonder if we’ve met her already without realizing it. Even the least spiritual/romantic of the bunch has something to say about soul mates.

Many people think that soul mate means the one you are predestined to be with forever; that a soul mate is your perfect fit. My definition of soul mate is not nearly as romantic.  I think of a soul mate as a person who you do “soul work” with — someone who opens your eyes and life to new things, introduces you to a new side of you.

A true soul mate is the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings your “crap” to your attention so you can change and grow for the better. Soul work involves tackling issues, questions, problems and everything else head-on. It means not ignoring the elephant in the room or brushing things under the rug.

When you connect with a soul mate, there is the desire to work out your karmic issues in this lifetime and be happy together. If you enter into a romantic relationship with a soul mate in this lifetime, it’s important to do it with an open, loving heart. A soul mate tears down your barriers and awakens you on some level, revealing another layer of you.

In Eat, Pray, Love , Elizabeth Gilmore writes:

A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…

Soul mate relationships can sometimes be painful. It’s important to see that whatever pain a soul mate causes you, it is done out of necessity for the growth of your soul.  It’s to open your eyes to realizing that this person is just a reflection back to you of what is inside yourself.

Do you keep forgetting that you are primarily a soul having an earthly experience?
Take The Soul Journey and reconnect with your true self.

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Lisa December 8, 2010 at 7:03 am

Lindsay, I just had a client ask me about sou lmate relationships and I said basically the same thing: a soul mate is one who helps you grow in some way – might not be a love relationship at all. Could even be adversarial in nature but if they are a catalyst for you to grow in some fashion, I'd say that's a soul-level partner.

Great post!


Lindsay December 8, 2010 at 9:13 am

We share the same thoughts on soul mates then, which means I'm in great company!

todd March 28, 2012 at 12:44 am

I met my soulmate but things are progressing slowly.She doesnt want to look in my eyes since we made heavy eye contact and realized things.Hoping she will soon.

Lindsay March 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Fingers crossed for you, Todd! If it’s meant to be, it will be. 🙂

Nesa K. August 18, 2012 at 12:52 am

Lindsay thanks for sharing this article. 

I had my soul connection almost two decades ago in the summer of my youth. The experience continues to shape me today, although we both have moved on separately in life. The feelings were too intense for me. I was the runner…but it is impossible to completely disregard the magnetism of soul recognition. The message above about not being able to look into the other’s eyes once you know; i can relate to. The eyes are the window to the soul and the realization of what is happening can stir things up quite a bit. 

I can still “sense” the presence of mine…His energy springs forth from somewhere intangibly deep and hidden. Sometimes it is like a wellspring of warmth and light, other times not at all. It seems that we are linked for better or for worse. Though, the encounter helped me along the path back to my higher self and facilitated my spiritual awakening.

But the sense of longing is also a reality. Yet, most times the feeling in my heart is enough. 

 Just thought I would share a little of my experience. 

-Diamonds- October 29, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I’m actually kind of lost! I had a relationship that ended in August and we were 2 years together… afther living leaving him… I started my awackening big time and sooo fast. Thing is I have a hard time forgeting him. I had to leave beacause he was taking drugs and our relationship was out of control! But like I said He is always in my head and everytime I think about him he eather text’s me or something like that and he told me that the same happened for him.

Afther being appart he tried to suicide himself and afther that his awakening began…

We met eatchother yesterday and it was super wierd… I felt like time was kind of stoping… it was really wierd first time I felt like that. I had a great time and we talked about our past relationship and talked things over. He also told me he was in love with me with my essence he had a hard time explaining it like he could not put words on it. Also, when we were talking I was dizzy at some point.

I don’t know what to do… i’m scared of something… I can’t explain. I’m a spiritual guide… i’m afraid of him not being the one juste being someone I have to help because I know sometime it’s easy to fall in love with people we help. Or at least we think it’s THAT kinda of love but it’s not it’s like a teacher and student love.

I was feeling really good with him but i’m so scared that it’s not THAT kind of love and scared beacause of what happened befor that.

How can I know he is the one? I also know my soul lost his soulmate beacause someone killed her thus… i’m afraid to love! But how can I know He is the one or just someone who needs guidance?

-Diamonds- October 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I forgot to mentionned… he dosen’t take drugs anymore. I know he makes me work big time on my self… and I think it scares me beacause I know that at that point if I want it to work… i’ll have to give myself and I am super scared but I don’t know if it will be good or bad. We went to see a movie and I was asking awnsers during the movie … And I think I got one and I wanted to cry soooo bad! How to explain all this? What do you think?

kumasgirl January 15, 2014 at 4:16 pm

i think hes my soulmate i met him a few years ago. we,d talk and talk every day in the park every day. we just enjoyed each others company getting closer day by day late last summer i started getting the sexy winks and teases for a week or so then one day our eyes locked together oh yes everything has changed since then we dont need to talk i know what hes thinking he does with me when im not with him my heart literely hurts i get pains in my chest or is this hes thinking of me at this time were both married so its platonic if its meant to be so they say just know couldnt bare the thought of him not in my life.

how do you find your soulmate June 3, 2014 at 3:52 am

LieselRigsby.com – I’ve seen the same patterns over and over and I know how to fix them. And they aren’t the things that most love experts are talking about.LieselRigsby.com | Liesel Rigsby, The Energetic

vegetarianerd September 6, 2014 at 1:10 am

I don’t know how seriously you’ll take this because we’re teenagers, but I’m fairly sure my boyfriend is my soulmate. It’s way more than your run of the mill 16-year-olders’ relationship. It’s really more about mutual care and appreciation. It’s like we’ve known each other before (more than the few years since when we met at summer camp) and can talk so openly. It’s amazing how much our families want us to be together, as if they see what we have our suspicions about. It’s nothing very sexual, mainly because it doesn’t need to be. You know you’re soulmates if you could function equally as well no matter if you’re a couple, best friends, or siblings. If you’re wondering about finding your soulmate, try asking yourself what you really love about your relationship and see if you can apply it to different scenarios with the two of you, as if they were past or future lives. If it works just as well in multiple hypothetical lives, then there’s a good chance they’re the one. I hope you find them again 🙂

Courtney September 21, 2014 at 8:11 pm

Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess
I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing.
Do you have any recommendations for rookie blog writers?
I’d certainly appreciate it.

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