How to tell when someone loves you

When someone loves you…

by Lindsay on July 7, 2011

in Relationships, Souls

I struggled as to whether or not to share this here on The Daily Awe, primarily because on the surface it has nothing to do with spirit guides, intuition or – some might say – even spirituality. After thinking about it for all of 15 seconds, I decided to share it here.  I think everyone’s soul purpose involves love: to love, be loved and share that love.

How can you tell when someone loves you?  I’ve spent some time thinking about this topic and have noticed there are some pretty obvious signs – signs that people don’t talk about & research doesn’t point to – that indicate someone loves you. I’m not talking about the way he points his knees towards you when you’re sitting on the couch together or the way she touches her neck when she laughs at something you’ve said (and harder than she needed to laugh). Nope. Not those things.

These things.

How to tell when someone loves you

-       They wipe the crumbs from your chin after you’ve been eating. Ever have that moment at a dinner table when you’re talking to a group of friends and someone lovingly brushes your chin in a nanosecond, so quickly no one else blinks an eye? That person wouldn’t want you to be embarrassed in front of others, so they instinctively (and without hesitation) wipe it off for you. That’s love.

-       You can sit in silence without feeling weird. My Mom always said that if you find someone with whom you can sit in the quiet and not feel awkward, you should hang onto that person. When you can clean your apartment, run errands or watch crappy television with someone and not feel like you need to fill every silent moment with words, that’s love.

-       They want you to be happy: even when it doesn’t involve them. Most people will say they want you to be happy, but they mostly mean that when your happiness helps make them happy, too. When someone loves you, they want for your happiness all of the time – not just when it’s going to benefit them on some level. When this person just lost their job on the same day you landed your dream job and they can still be happy for you, that’s love. When they have to sacrifice something to make you happy – and they do it willingly – that’s love.

-       They take care of you when you’re sick. ‘Nuff said. Most friends will feign sympathy (or maybe it’ll even be real) when you’re puking your guts out or are stricken with a nasty virus, but the ones who love you will offer to bring you provisions (Nyquil, soup, Jack Daniels) and stroke your hair while beads of sweat form on your forehead. That’s love.

-       They see movies you want to see with an actor they abhor, just because you want to see it. That’s love.

-       They pick your eyelashes from your cheek and don’t feel weirded out about touching your face or a fallen eyelash that belonged to you. Then they tell you to make a wish. That’s love.

-       They listen to you talk about your pet for 10 minutes straight without zoning out or thinking, “This person is nuts”. Love!

-       They call you on your bullshit, want you to be a better person– and love you anyway. Love, love, love.

-       They feel your sadness when you’re upset about something. Sometimes they cry with you. Sometimes they offer solutions. Whatever they do, they always know the appropriate response for each situation.  That’s love.

When someone rubs your back just for the sake of rubbing it and waters your plants while you are away without expecting anything in return. When someone genuinely cares about your childhood memories and photographs, knows exactly what you’re going to order at the restaurant, grabs your hand under the table to give it a squeeze, doesn’t care about how much money you make, knows your boss’ (and coworkers’) names, beams with pride when you do something well – that is love.

If you love someone…tell them. We are here to experience love: to give it, get it and share it. Just love. No matter what your soul purpose or mission is in this lifetime, love is definitely a part of it.

What does love mean to you? How do you know when someone loves you?

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Justin | Spiritual Development July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Hi Lindsay,
I love your list and I wish that I had someone to do those things for me. :)
Love is one of those things that everyone has a different way of expressing.
In some families yelling at each other is a form of love and others a hug and a kiss are.

To me it would mean just accepting me as I am.

Reply

Lindsay July 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Yep, you are so right, Justin. Every family expresses their love in different ways. Mine is a very verbal & physically affectionate family, so that is how I express my love to my family & others. And you hit the nail on the head: loving someone is accepting them for who they are. :)

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Julie | A Clear Sign July 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Oh wow I could go on with this one. I would add:

When you can be 100%, completely honest with your heartfelt emotion, and want to be because you feel it literally with your heart

When you can go to see a stand up comic who talks about relationships and divorce and says,”Don’t look at the person you’re with, keep your eyes on me,” and you know just what they mean but you go home with the person anyway

When you would throw yourself in front of a bus to save them AFTER you’ve already known them for 20 years

When you find yourself getting a divorce or otherwise losing someone and you genuinely regret your part in it and wish them well

When you stop trying to change them and accept them for who they are, lock, stock and barrel

Great post!

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Lindsay July 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I LOVE your list too, Julie! You know it’s love when you’d jump in front of a bus or walk through fire for someone (that’s what my best friend & I always say – “I’d walk through fire for you”) after years and years…that’s love.

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Sol July 10, 2011 at 6:06 am

Wiping crumbs of your chin?

Why do I not like the thought of that? Isn’t it a little… uhm, unclean?

I kind of believe that LOVE is more of a underlying condition or state, if you would. You won’t always feel those flowery feelings, but the knowing that you love the person is there.

It might not always be in the words.

It might sometimes be in the action.

But we always know, on some level or another.

Even major fights where we kick and scream can be an expression of love, however cheesy that may sound.

So I guess it’s different for everybody, hmm?

Reply

Lindsay July 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

lol, Sol…I see your point! And I agree that love and expressing it is different for everyone. Love is definitely not always feeling those flowery, floating on a cloud feelings. Sometimes it’s just in the silence of doing nothing that love can be felt the most.

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Joy July 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Lindsay,
I read your article and thought I *am* love..and also I celebrate that I am in love! And I smile with delight..that is how I know someone loves me– not with words or material gifts– but all of the unique custom to me ways to show they care..and the smile in their eyes when our Beings are together..And silence..that is symbolic of deep peace, the most precious gift of love!

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Lindsay July 11, 2011 at 9:11 am

Love your perspective, Joy! We *are* all love. I know that might sound a little corny but…I’m okay with that!

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Jane Rochelle July 11, 2011 at 8:55 am

Thank you Lindsay ~ for reminding me how loved I am <3

~ Jane

Reply

Lindsay July 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

That makes me happy, Jane! Thank you for letting me know. :)

Reply

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