What to do when your spirit guides won’t talk to you

What to do when your spirit guides won’t talk to you

by Lindsay on September 29, 2011

in Readings, Spirit Guides

Photo credit: Anton Bader on flickr

I remember my middle school years (and sometimes I wish I didn’t!) and how sometimes the girls in the class would pow-wow together and decide which girl was going to get the “cold shoulder” that day. I don’t remember much rhyme or reason to the selection process, but I do remember the feelings of knowing it was wrong and I also remember the feeling of being the dreaded chosen one for the day and having those so-called ‘friends’ ignore me all day long. Middle school is rough. But talking about the trials and tribulations of middle-school aged children or my raging unpopularity at that time in my life isn’t the point of this article.

The cold-shoulder, for those who were either too popular to be affected by this or aren’t from Central PA, is defined as “behaving towards someone in a way that is not at all friendly, sometimes for reasons that this person does not understand.”

If you’ve ever tried to communicate with your guides and you’re just not getting any answers, you’ve probably wondered if your guides are giving you this so-called ‘diss’. You might think you’re doing something wrong or not communicating with them in the proper way. Maybe you think that you’re not meditating long enough. You might even have the thought run through your head that you don’t have guides. That’s not true – you do!

If you feel like your guides are giving you the cold-shoulder, they’re not.  The title of this article is a tad deceiving, because I don’t believe there is a time when your guides are intentionally ignoring you. BUT! If you feel like you haven’t had any success in your attempts at reaching out to your guides, here are a few tips:

  • Relax: yeah, yeah. Easier said than done. But really, do yourself a big favor and stop being on high-alert waiting for your signs and answers all of the time. Believe it or not, you’re more likely to notice the signs and be open to the communication when you’re relaxed and not on edge waiting for it.
  • Let go of your expectations: maybe you’re waiting for your guides to speak to you and you can actually hear it. Maybe you’re waiting for that special song on the radio – that one specific song that you must hear for validation. Hmmm…that’s pretty rigid thinking, isn’t it? A lot of times when we’re expecting one specific thing and we don’t get it, it leads to disappointment. Let go of your ideas of how things should be happening and  be open to all possibilities.
  • Think about what kind of person you are: Are you a thinker? A feeler? Someone who always has a tune playing through her head? Your guides know what kind of person you are and what kind of language you speak. If you are sensitive and feel deeply, it’s very likely that your guides are going to speak to you through emotions. You might not get that answer you’ve been waiting for in the form of a song on the radio (though you might!) – you’re more likely to get your answer in the form of a gut feeling. Same goes for if you’re a thinker…if an answer suddenly pops into your head; if you have an “Aha!” moment – take a moment and acknowledge that that could be the answer you’ve been waiting for from your guides.
  • Don’t be afraid: I’ve heard from some readers who feel a bit tentative about reaching out to their guides. That’s understandable – if you can’t see, hear or touch them, it can sometimes feel a little intimidating. But guides are human souls who haven’t incarnated at this time. They’re just like we are, essentially. They have human thoughts & emotions. In fact, your spirit guide may very well be a soul you have shared a previous life (or lives!) with in the past.  When I used to think of spirit guides, I considered mine to be some all-knowing entity who was somehow “above” me. A mystery. Some enchanting, mystical soul – the likes of whom I could never be like. Now I know she’s just kind of like a best friend who is always there. It takes away the intimidation factor.

I’ve put together a guided meditation to help you meet your spirit guides. Please visit my Daily Awe Shop to download the meditation. Let me know what you get!

If you’re having trouble connecting with your guides, feel free to contact me for a spirit guide reading. I can usually get a name and always get a description of the guide and some message for you passed along. I can also give you some tips (directly from your spirit guides!) on how to improve your communications with them.

How do you communicate with your guides? Any cool stories to share with messages you’ve picked up from that that you weren’t expecting? What about the ones you were? How do the messages come through for you?


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Julie | A Clear Sign September 29, 2011 at 8:38 am

Hiya Lindsay,

I had two funnies yesterday, things that popped into my head out of the blue for no apparent reason when I was actually busy doing other things. One was, gee I’d like to get a sample of a particular product in the mail. The other was, the next email that I get will be about what I need to do next. Sure enough, some packages arrived and there was a tiny sample of the product (obviously sent several days before I had the thought) and the other was an email from a friend checking on how I was doing with transferring my blog over to WP (a bit of a nightmare for me). Now…those things aren’t “big” things, but it is NOT the way I usually get info. I guess they were just letting me know they’re right here helping me out 🙂

Lindsay September 29, 2011 at 9:33 am

Hey Julie! You make an interesting point that sometimes our guides speak to us in ways we’re not expecting. I get that sometimes, too. Funny that it happened to you twice in one day!

If you need some help with the WP thing, let me know. I might be able to help. It’s easier for me to help in person (of course!) with this internet/WP/blogging thing, but I can try. Btw — your comment (this one!) prompted me to do something I’ve been meaning to do for a couple of weeks! I guess that was my sign/reminder. So thanks for that!

Michael September 29, 2011 at 10:02 am

Hey, I done told you about the WP thing. All you need to do is to ask…

Julie | A Clear Sign September 29, 2011 at 10:08 am

Michael and Lindsay, Thanks for the offers and I’ll be asking just as soon as I figure out what the heck I am doing (i.e., START). So far I am stuck at the beginning, with little people chatting in my ear. Friday is Peace Day 🙂

Lindsay, so glad I reminded you. See, I am good for something!

Kara September 29, 2011 at 1:27 pm


This stuff has always been interesting to me so when I see your stuff on FB I usually read it. I read your post today and thought… I’ve never had a sign even though I look. I must be doing something wrong.

So… not even 2 minutes later I got to open up a bag of chips and I find a perfectly rolled up chip right on top. The rolled up chips are my favorite and I actively seek them out! It sorta hit me at that moment. I know to some it might seem silly but I know it was a sign. Like you said, maybe I just need to stop looking and relax!


From that other girl from Clearfield, PA who lives in Toronto too 🙂

Lindsay September 29, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Hey Kara! Yeah, that’s definitely a sign. Perfect timing, too! Maybe you’ve been getting them in ways you aren’t looking for… But at least you noticed this one. I’d be willing to bet others will follow. Maybe that little rolled up chip was your birthday present sign (although wouldn’t winning the lottery be better?! ha!). Happy birthday. 🙂

Rumpy Drummond September 29, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Ya know, I’ve found it’s always best to let things happen.

Lindsay September 30, 2011 at 7:45 am

True dat, Rumpy! Nice blog you have there!

Justin | Mazzastick September 30, 2011 at 1:34 am

Hi Lindsay,

The initial transition for me from elementary school to middle school was very difficult. It was like going from Disney World to Wall Street. It was way to “grown up” for me at the time.

I haven’t taken the time to connect with my spirit guides but I have had a couple of readings done where my spirit guides were described to me which was really cool.

Lindsay September 30, 2011 at 9:14 am

That’s a fantastic analogy, Justin. It’s funny cuz it was grown up, but also filled with hormone-laden children who don’t know how to handle the transition a lot of the time!

I don’t think we need to actively talk with or connect with our guides in order to have a relationship with them. You know they’re there and even if someone doesn’t, it doesn’t mean they don’t/can’t help! 🙂

Sundeep October 4, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Nice post! I’m having trouble with the relaxing front..i’m sure once I master that things will be clearer. Goodness knows I would like my guides to provide some insights these days!

Lindsay October 4, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Yeah…it’s so tough getting the “relaxing” bit down and letting go of expectations. But as soon as you do, I’m sure things will just flow. Btw – I am loving the photos on your blog. Some of them are so beautiful!

Sundeep October 4, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Thanks Lindsay! I’m feeling stressed these days so all the beautiful photos help!

Joe Bill October 11, 2011 at 5:38 pm

I’d say it also helps to be open to all channels–pay attention to reality sometimes your answer is there.

Lindsay October 11, 2011 at 6:51 pm

You got that right! Sometimes the words that come out of our own mouths in the form of advice to others is just what WE needed to hear, too.

Melody @ Deliberate Receiving October 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Hey Lindsay,

I’ve been talking to my guides almost daily since I was a teenager. Of course, back then, I told no one about it. But over the years, I the connection got stronger and I began to trust them more and now I have access to many, many guides with a crystal clear connection. I may have to write about this, as I haven’t done so and I have a bit of a different take on the whole subject (I know.. you’re shocked..) LOL. You’ve really got me thinking now. Thanks!



Lindsay October 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Hey Melody! I’m definitely interested in hearing what you have to say about spirit guides! Especially since you have a crystal clear connection — I bet you could even get some messages for us readers from them? Maybe? 🙂

I’m curious: when you were a teenager did you call them spirit guides? I’d never heard of that term when I was younger…I just thought of them more as my “imaginary” friends but they were very real, just not visible!

Tui October 15, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment, Lindsay. Nice to know I’m not the only “dime finder” out there! ;p

I like what you say in this post about thinking about the kind of person you are. It’s easy to expect contact to come in a certain form, but maybe that’s just not how your guides roll!


Lindsay October 18, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Hello, fellow dime finder! So nice to see you here, too! I am digging your blog and hope you’ll stick around here, too!

Invertigo December 12, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Hi, i sometimes get a little worried now and then when my guardian angel Susan is silent. But i remind myself that she has never left, its just me being a worry wart. Then suddenly i would get a powerful dream response from her, in turn lifting my vibration. Thanks for the subject on spirit guides Lindsay!

Lindsay December 13, 2011 at 9:19 am

That’s awesome! They never really leave us – not our primary guide, anyway. Some come & go but we’re never really alone. I love that you get messages in dreams from her!

Invertigo December 13, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Yes, Susie is definitly my primary, she was picked up by three different mediums. When i realize she is there, i’ll hear a loud tap in my room as confirmation. (She used to tap on my old tv set but when i sold that she had to find somthing else to tap on!) Another sign i get that she is there is when i talk out to her (I ONLY do that when my mom is NOT home, she’ll think i am nuts LOL!) my kitty gets hyper and excited, i keep in mind that animals can sense Spirit too.

Niki May 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I’ve learned very quickly, not to ask for a sign from my guides to often, because they ALWAYS set off my smoke alarms and/or make my doorbell ring, sometimes within an hour of asking, or within the same day. LOL Iv’e learned it’s their way of saying “we’re here and here’s the solid proof you like”!
When I need some guidance on a question of similar, I either have a thought very clearly pop into my mind upon asking or I’ll get sychronicities and ‘co-incidences’ which help me with the answer. Spirit guides are definately more like best friends!

Lulu March 13, 2013 at 6:33 pm

ello Lindsey. Ive been doing meditation for a bit more than a year now – including the time that i spent trying and trying to get it right, then i was at a meditation class and saw some purple light in my vision and I read that this was the beginning of my spiritual path (this was a long while ago) and ever since i have been able to meditate effectively. a while ago i started seeing things when i was relaxed (not in meditation) like random women and men which i thought was amazing.. then I started seeing before i went to sleep lots of beetles (like scarab beetles) and i thought this was terrifying and couldnt get it to go away, thought i was going mad and tried blocking them out.

then not long ago my friend opened my eyes about the fact that the could be spirit guides and ive started embracing this and trying to contact them – i want to know names etc! hadn’t had much luck for a couple of weeks, then just about an hour ago i was meditating.. trying to contact one lalala, then i went into a deep state – not really trying (i see these starry things and i sort of go into them) and then i suddenly see before my eyes this girl with a big smiley face dancing with crazy hair (she looked a bit tribaly) and i jumped! and tried to get her back to contact but she disappeared – i alwarys SEE them but cant speak to them.

aaah its all crazy stuff and im new to spirit guides – i only ever used to see green and purple light during meditation etc now its all of this.
Just to note i have been practicing with auras too and i sometimes see them (colours) but mostly just a glowing light.
Thank you for your amazing site ! 🙂 love n light, lulu

Yamy May 2, 2013 at 7:22 am

Was looking for something interesting to read this morning and stumbled upon you article….I have always had an intuition that I am being guided….today I feel I was brought to you because they need to communicate with me and well with our busy life I am just not listening lol…I will make time to meditate. Thanks

Janice Youngs May 8, 2014 at 5:12 pm

I seem at the moment to be receiving answers to questions with either a word. line or a whole song in my head when I wake, this could be during the night or in the morning. I am getting quite used to this now and write down the song titles in the morning, so far I have understood all the messages. Is this a normal response?

Aaron May 31, 2014 at 1:26 pm

I read so many books on these guides and a lot more from Sylvia and her guide Francine. I am happy to know we all have guides !! it makes me very happy that there is someone there for you and knows you more than your family or friends.

When i sleep i ask and pray for its name, i feel like calling it guide is like calling someone “hey you” when they have names.

Do you think you may help me discover my guide’s name? i really would love to know about it more.

Maygen June 24, 2014 at 3:55 pm

I have a spirit that fallows me but I’m not sure he is my guide or not but he told me his name. He is often in my dreams and here lately in almost every dream. I have been in contact with him for several years now.

Allie July 17, 2014 at 1:20 pm

Hello to all, I am just learning about Spirit Guides and I would love to meet them but I dont know if I dream because I never remember dreaming , I ask them questions aloud and look for signs, I love music and there are so many songs out there that give me conflicting answers and I do get things in my head but Im not sure if its my wishful thinking or the guides. I have been getting random chills out of nowhere and sometimes a tingling in my head I dont know if these are signs or am I trying too hard lol.

Joshua July 18, 2014 at 1:10 am

I agree towards everything you just said :/ its confusing to me, because im not 100% sure if its me telling myself things in my head or my guides.

Allie July 18, 2014 at 8:22 am

Hello Joshua, from what I have read you have to trust them 100% and I am trying to but I think in todays world its hard to trust and I am always on gaurd perhaps thats what stops me from hearing them i also have trouble meditating as well I can never clear my head of everything I try to then up pops something lol I believe that may have something to di with it.

joshua July 18, 2014 at 9:54 pm

Hey Allie,
My kitten recently passed away, her name was Noah. I named her Noah because that name always appeared to me when I had asked for my guide’s name. I’m still not sure if it’s just me loving this name so much, which would explain why it would appear in my mind more than often or a sign. Anyways, she was killed by my brothers dog, his name is Demon. When I thought about this i cried because i loved this kitten, all that i could think of was “Did my guide die just the way my cat did?”, “Was she/he killed or murdered by someone as cruel as my brothers dog?” … That’s something i want to believe, but it feels to insane to go with that. It’s difficult, yet its probably because im trying to much to reach out to them. But who knows .

Allie July 18, 2014 at 8:09 am

Hello Joshua, from what I have read you have to trust in them 100% and I am trying to but I think in todays world it is hard to trust and I am always on gaurd perhaps thats what stops me from hearing them I also have trouble meditating as well I can never clear my head of everything I try to then up pops something lol I believe that may have something to do with it

Liz August 1, 2014 at 11:37 pm

I’ve been trying to contact my guide for a few days now. I really only realized I had one on Tuesday because of a dream I had. Now since I know he’s there I want to ask him questions and stuff, and I have. Other website told me about these techniques that haven’t been working and others have to me to ask them verbally and I might get a response that way. No luck. Any tips to someone new to this?

Kyla September 13, 2014 at 9:04 pm

I have met my spirit guide in a dream once and recently read a book by Rebecca Rosen on how to tap in more clearly. It made me remember that in that dream, my spirit guide looked like Falkor from The Neverending Story. While I can see why, I’m almost certain that a fictional easy going dragon is the name of my spirit guide. How can I know the name?

Marti October 12, 2014 at 1:20 am


Im sure you have been waiting for the guy who was going to ask you a question, well firstly let me say I am him, and you will know my question. I would lke to hear your answer to my question.

If you answer correctly, I will tell you the story behind it. Please dont ask the question until your 100% sure its the question I need the answer to.

http://asikqq.co January 31, 2016 at 10:31 am

Now I am going away to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming over again to read further

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