Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.

Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts

by Lindsay on February 23, 2012

in Empath, Personal Growth


Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.

I read that sentence the other day while reading an article on Psychology Today. It struck a chord with me. So what does it mean?

If you feel like you are “too much” of something – too sensitive, think too much, too intense or too much of anything — Why not put a positive spin on that “too much”? Your deep sensitivity helps you understand people and makes you the one your friends come to when they need a shoulder. Your constant thinking makes you self-aware. Your intensity makes you passionate, driven.

Or do you think you’re “not enough” of something? Too shy, too quiet, too passive, too soft. Putting a positive spin on that, we could say you’re a good listener, humble and have a sense of grace about you that doesn’t require you to assert yourself in forceful ways.

You might feel a bit ambivalent about these qualities in yourself – you are sensitive & thoughtful, but people take advantage of these in you.

The very qualities we’re most ashamed of — the ones we try to sweep under the rug so others don’t notice — are key in finding true happiness within ourselves. Ken Page calls these your “core gifts”

Core gifts are not the same as talents or skills. In fact, until we understand them, they often feel like shameful weaknesses, or as parts of ourselves too vulnerable to expose. Yet they are where our soul lives. They are like the bone marrow of our psyche, generating a living stream of impulses toward intimacy and authentic self-expression. But gifts aren’t hall-passes to happiness. They get us into trouble again and again. We become most defensive-or most naïve-around them. They challenge us and the people we care about. They ask more of us than we want to give. And we can be devastated when we feel them betrayed or rejected.

What are some of your core gifts? What feels more like a curse than a gift to you? These would be qualities that you see as a weakness or a fault but in fact are a great strength & gift. As you think of them, and reframe the way you think of them, you’ll let your inner light shine and maybe even see your life in a new way.

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Michael February 23, 2012 at 11:23 am

Wish I’d written that! 🙂 Well done.

Excellent insight, as always. Perception is indeed everything. The first thing we need to manifest is the self we want to be.

Lindsay February 23, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Thanks, Michael! You’re right – we need to manifest (and be) the person we want to be in order for the rest to fall into place.

Julie February 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Hi Lindsay,

I can think of any number of things but the first thing that came to mind was too black and white when it comes to truth/honesty.

Gives us all something to think over, doesn’t it!

Lindsay February 23, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Sure is food for thought. I think mine (well, I have a few) but my biggest is the “too sensitive” one. Sometimes I find myself upset over the tiniest of things that other people would likely just shrug off.

Truth/honesty – I can see why you’re black & white about that. The grey area there can get murky.

Dottie February 23, 2012 at 4:50 pm


I often stuggle with those feelings of being too much or not enough. When I am in a good place and my life is moving in what feels like a positive direction, I truly can see these areas of my self as positive – too sensitive indeed makes me sensitive to others, not assertive enough, makes me thoughtful before voicing my opinion. Currently, however, I am in a season of loss in my life and just when I need to trust my heart and who I am the most I am faltering… but still trying to accept and find gratitude for who I am and where I am. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Lindsay February 23, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Hi Dottie – we sound a lot alike. I noticed it’s always harder to accept and find gratitude for ourselves & our lives when the going gets tough. Wouldn’t it be great if it was consistent? If nothing else, you can take comfort that you’re not alone and we all go through seasons like this. Feel my squeeze across the miles.

Dottie February 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I agree, I think we are a lot alike and I already felt your squeeze just by reading your blog. Thanks for being there. I look forward to getting to know you better. 🙂

Lindsay February 23, 2012 at 5:55 pm

PS – Just subscribed to your blog. I really love your energy.

veehcirra February 24, 2012 at 10:09 am

Such a thought provoking post, “what feels more like a curse than a blessing to you?” My frankness, I like to say things as they are with a stubborn truth, however I am careful not to hurt any feelings. However,I have to admit sometimes, my frankness is not usually appreciated. Lindsay,how now can this be a blessing to me?

I love the title of this post. Most comforting sentence I have read this whole day. Thanks.


Lindsay February 24, 2012 at 11:07 am

Hi Veeh,

You could say your frankness makes you a really honest person. If your frankness hurts people, you could work on choosing your words more carefully but still being honest.

Btw – I’m glad you found the article comforting. 🙂 That means a lot to me!

Lisa February 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Im def too nice and generous with my time, energy, thoughts, money, etc. I always see it as my best and worst qualities

Lindsay February 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Yeah – those are really beautiful gifts to have, but I can see how those would be hard to balance. I suppose it’s all about making sure you’re generous with your time, money, etc…with the right people who won’t take advantage of you!

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