Falling in and out of love – with your work/passion/hobby/talent/past-time

Falling in and out of love – with your work/passion/hobby/talent/past-time

by Lindsay on April 5, 2012

in Attitude, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth

Photo credit: Janice Pallas

No matter how much I try not to, sometimes I fall out of love with doing healing & intuitive work. The things I ordinarily adore and daydream about doing when I’m not doing them become as desirable a chore as scrubbing the toilet.

Admittedly, I’m almost afraid to come out and say this. Isn’t this what I want to do, after all? Isn’t this part of my purpose? Isn’t this the work I tell everyone I can’t wait to quit my day job for?

When I fall out of love with this kind of work, it feels like there are so many other things I need to do: fold & put away my laundry, read the 600-page book I never finished, go out for a run (and if you know me, you know that’s quite the feat!), call my cousin in Florida.

When I fall out of love with my work, I have to stop myself and ask, “What’s changed?” “Is there something I need to do to evolve or shift directions?” “Have I changed?”

Surely you can relate. Many of us put extraordinary expectations on ourselves like:

  • I need to get things done, why can’t I just fill in the blank¨?
  • I should be more excited about this. Why does everyone else seem so fired up & passionate all the time and I’m not?
  • Why am I always so hard on myself? Shouldn’t I be gentler with myself?
  • I get distracted too easily. Every time I sit down to ________ I go on Facebook/email/call my mom.
  • If I appreciated what I have more often, maybe I’d be more excited about it.
  • If I published one more blog post/saw one more client/did one more reading/painted one more painting, then I’d be better/happier/more fulfilled/satisfied.

With all of those pressures and expectations, it is any wonder the work we love turns into a chore?

4-step guide to check yourself before you wreck yourself

Step 1: Get rid of all of your “shoulds”. Kill your expectations. Ditch the heavy-duty must-dos.

Step 2: Breathe.

Step 3: Reconnect with why you fell in love with your work (or whatever it is you’ve lost passion for). What was it that attracted you to it in the first place?

What made you yearn for it? Pine for it? Want to know absolutely everything about it?

Step 4: Rather than expecting yourself to experience the same explosive happy-happy-joy-joy feelings you felt when you were first introduced to this, learn to fall into a different kind of love. Similar to a relationship with a person: you (probably) won’t always have the “I need to rip your clothes off now or I’ll die” feelings. Instead, you’ll sink into a nourishing, deeper, fuller kind of love.

How to fall in love (again) with your work

  • Learn something new about it: Read a new book on your topic; read lotsa blog posts
  • Attend a conference or meetup group and pretend you’re connecting with others in your field for the first time
  • Approach your work from a beginner’s mind: Focus on experiencing it with a curiosity
  • Mentor others: What better way to experience your work through fresh eyes than through connecting with a novice in your field? Mentor them and soak up their enthusiasm for the craft.

The fastest way to kill your passion?

Compare yourself to the accomplishments of others. Stop it. Just stop it right. Now. Focus on your passion and the rest will follow – only you can walk your path.

This usually works for me when I fall out of love with the work I am called to do. I’m not perfect and some days I honestly would rather scrub the toilet.  But when I try the above, it lands me into discovering a new angle of this work and plops me right back into love with it.

Do you ever fall out of love with your work/passion? What do you do to fall back in love with it? I wanna hear your thoughts!

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Julie | A Clear Sign April 5, 2012 at 7:05 am

I often succumb to the could woulds shouldas, because life is just so busy. I remind myself of what is most important – and that could be different today than it is tomorrow. Funny I wrote about finding your passion today and you wrote about sustaining it.

My most discouraging moments are probably seeing the lack of development that I imagine could be there. You never know what might be around the next corner though that can ignite the fire once more.

Lindsay April 5, 2012 at 7:40 am

I thought the same thing – we wrote about the same topic from different angles. We’re good like that.

Thanks for the reminder that what is most important today might not be tomorrow. That’s so true.

Lately, my most discouraging moments aren’t with my passion, but rather the lack of time I have to expand it to where I want to be because of that day job that makes me so miserable. I know I keep going on and on about that so that means I need to do SOMETHING. I’m still thinking cutting back to a part-time steady gig so I can expand my practice is where it’s at. Time will tell.

Laura Warnke April 5, 2012 at 10:31 am

I have gone through many of those feelings as well. Once I have cleared my head, my Guides always seem to bring me back around and I find myself once again being drawn to another aspect of psychic abilities to explore.

Each time this happens I gain renewed interest and faith that it is exactly where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. The connection gets deeper each time.

Lindsay April 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

Thanks for sharing your experience, Laura. It’s really similar to mine. Each time I cycle through this, my passion and conviction grows deeper. <3

Frances April 5, 2012 at 11:32 am

“Compare yourself to the accomplishments of others. Stop it. Just stop it right. Now. Focus on your passion and the rest will follow – only you can walk your path.”

THANK YOU. I so needed to hear that. Especially since I’m just starting out and I feel like I have to do SO MUCH, this is a great reminder that I just need to take it easy, relax, and just enjoy the process.

Lindsay April 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Frances those words were as much for me as everyone else! I used to do that A LOT more when I was first starting off, too. I’m more settled now, but sometimes it’s hard – I especially compare myself to people who don’t have a day job/office job they have to drag themselves to every day. I have to realize that some day I will be doing this full-time and until then, I need to stop comparing myself to them!

I’m so glad they (the words) helped you out when you needed it! <3

Kristine April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Ah, great post Lindsay and you know you’re not alone on this. You sound very frustrated and exhausted. Have you forgotten to take some time out for yourself? Away from all forms of work and just go play? How long has it been since your last holiday? Doesn’t need to be fancy or costly. It’s not that you don’t love your work, you do. You are tired.

Don’t forget to trust. The money will be there for you when you do what’s right for you.

Just so happens I’m in the same boat!


Lindsay April 5, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Hi Kristine!

I wrote this article when I was home sick with the flu from the day job. And yes, I certainly WAS frustrated and exhausted! Truth be told, the day job frustrates me more than my healing work. I WANT to be doing this full time. But sometimes I do lose my drive, and the methods I blogged about usually work for me. 🙂 You are such an awesome addition to the comment section of my blog, I can’t wait ’til you get your own blog, too!

I’ll respond to your other post later when I’ve got more time. Thanks again for posting!

Kristine April 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Well thank you so much for the warm welcome! I think you’re a really great writer. What a wonderful outlet a blog is, eh?

It’s good to be here and I shall be reading more here.

Patti Foy | Lightspirited Being April 14, 2012 at 10:32 am

OMG, I could have written this post word for word, I’m not kidding. It does my soul good to know it’s not just me! I really like your steps and your how-to’s also. Really great ideas!

One thing I find works for me, even though I don’t do it to correct anything, is just to give in to what I’m feeling and be away from it for some time. Inevitably I find that usually within even one day, I’m fired up about it again. I recently did my first group Holographic Emergence session (so fun!) and one of the things that came up was the idea of a heartbeat. I’ve been so aware ever since of the importance of that kind of rhythm. Wax/wane, breathe in/out, open/close eyes (i.e. blink), and even two steps forward one step back. I also read a hugely helpful book recently called The Power of Full Engagement, and it emphasises — its main point, actually — “recovery” periods. I know what you’re talking about is a little different … or maybe not. 😉

Anyway — super post. Thanks so much for writing it. I feel so much better now. 😀

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