No matter how much I try not to, sometimes I fall out of love with doing healing & intuitive work. The things I ordinarily adore and daydream about doing when I’m not doing them become as desirable a chore as scrubbing the toilet.
Admittedly, I’m almost afraid to come out and say this. Isn’t this what I want to do, after all? Isn’t this part of my purpose? Isn’t this the work I tell everyone I can’t wait to quit my day job for?
When I fall out of love with this kind of work, it feels like there are so many other things I need to do: fold & put away my laundry, read the 600-page book I never finished, go out for a run (and if you know me, you know that’s quite the feat!), call my cousin in Florida.
When I fall out of love with my work, I have to stop myself and ask, “What’s changed?” “Is there something I need to do to evolve or shift directions?” “Have I changed?”
Surely you can relate. Many of us put extraordinary expectations on ourselves like:
- I need to get things done, why can’t I just fill in the blank¨?
- I should be more excited about this. Why does everyone else seem so fired up & passionate all the time and I’m not?
- Why am I always so hard on myself? Shouldn’t I be gentler with myself?
- I get distracted too easily. Every time I sit down to ________ I go on Facebook/email/call my mom.
- If I appreciated what I have more often, maybe I’d be more excited about it.
- If I published one more blog post/saw one more client/did one more reading/painted one more painting, then I’d be better/happier/more fulfilled/satisfied.
With all of those pressures and expectations, it is any wonder the work we love turns into a chore?
4-step guide to check yourself before you wreck yourself
Step 1: Get rid of all of your “shoulds”. Kill your expectations. Ditch the heavy-duty must-dos.
Step 2: Breathe.
Step 3: Reconnect with why you fell in love with your work (or whatever it is you’ve lost passion for). What was it that attracted you to it in the first place?
What made you yearn for it? Pine for it? Want to know absolutely everything about it?
Step 4: Rather than expecting yourself to experience the same explosive happy-happy-joy-joy feelings you felt when you were first introduced to this, learn to fall into a different kind of love. Similar to a relationship with a person: you (probably) won’t always have the “I need to rip your clothes off now or I’ll die” feelings. Instead, you’ll sink into a nourishing, deeper, fuller kind of love.
How to fall in love (again) with your work
- Learn something new about it: Read a new book on your topic; read lotsa blog posts
- Attend a conference or meetup group and pretend you’re connecting with others in your field for the first time
- Approach your work from a beginner’s mind: Focus on experiencing it with a curiosity
- Mentor others: What better way to experience your work through fresh eyes than through connecting with a novice in your field? Mentor them and soak up their enthusiasm for the craft.
The fastest way to kill your passion?
Compare yourself to the accomplishments of others. Stop it. Just stop it right. Now. Focus on your passion and the rest will follow – only you can walk your path.
This usually works for me when I fall out of love with the work I am called to do. I’m not perfect and some days I honestly would rather scrub the toilet. But when I try the above, it lands me into discovering a new angle of this work and plops me right back into love with it.
Do you ever fall out of love with your work/passion? What do you do to fall back in love with it? I wanna hear your thoughts!