Think about the one who hurt you the most, who left you feeling like your heart had been stomped on, spit on and then rolled over by a dozen Mack Trucks. Who left you for dead (or might as well have), but taught you so much about yourself in the process.
Think about the person who swept into your world like a whirlwind, rocking the core of your being, changing what you knew about yourself and the life you lived. The one who left as quickly as she came but left an indelible mark on your heart, life and the way you love.
Many people think that soul mate means the one you are predestined to be with forever; that a soul mate is your perfect fit. Many of us live to meet that person – the one who will fit like a glove. My definition of soul mate is not nearly as romantic. I think of a soul mate as a person who you do “soul work” with — someone who opens your eyes and life to new things, introduces you to a new side of you.
A true soul mate is a person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings your “crap” to your attention so you can change and grow for the better. Soul work involves tackling issues, questions, problems and everything else head-on. A soul mate will open up your heart and mind until you can’t ignore the elephant in the room or brush certain things about yourself under the rug anymore.
A soul mate tears down your barriers and awakens you on some level, revealing another layer of you.
A soul mate doesn’t necessary = a lifelong love. Certainly a soul mate can be a life-long lover and partner. But not always. Sometimes our soul mate relationships are the most painful we’ll ever experience.
It’s important to see that whatever pain a soul mate causes you, it is done to help you with the growth of your soul. It’s to open your eyes to realizing that this person is just a reflection back to you of what is inside yourself.
So why are soul mate relationships painful and not the bed of roses that Hollywood paints them out to be?
Because our soul mates are fellow souls who contracted to spend time with us in this lifetime. These relationships are purposely established to stimulate growth. Soul mate contracts are carefully chosen before we are born, just as parental contracts (another form of a soul contract) are determined as we select the genetic pool and family environment which best support our soul’s development in a particular lifetime. In a nutshell: soul mate contracts are designed to assist us in experiencing lessons that are difficult.
Shared past lives & the magnetic attraction
No doubt about it: you picked relationships with certain souls to grow with, souls you have a strong karmic connection to. In fact, it is very likely that you and your soul mate(s) in this lifetime have issues left to resolve from prior lifetimes together. A soul mate is perfectly designed to push your buttons so he or she can boost you into new realms of self awareness. Soul mate relationships are characterized by passion because, otherwise, most of us would never have the fortitude to remain with these mates since the interaction is usually fraught with conflict.
You feel that incredible attraction to your soul mates because if it wasn’t there, you’d walk away. It wouldn’t be worth it. That attraction keeps you there, growing and learning together.
Meeting your soul mate
Robert Ohotto says soul mates are both pre-destined and come into our lives based on our own decisions and actions. He says,
There are some people you can’t help BUT meet – there is no vision board that’s gonna get them there, they are on their way. Some relationships are fated that way. Part of a Divine design and all you’ve gotta do is show up to life and you’ll meet them.
Instead of focusing on meeting “the one” and then obsessing over that relationship, you can relax in knowing that you will always meet the right person at the right time. And your soul/Higher Self already knows it.
What are your thoughts on soul mates? Is the Hollywood romantic version true, or are our soul mates karmic soul ‘friends’ we are meant to learn from, teach and grow with?
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