How to improve your relationship with money

by Lindsay on April 21, 2014

in Attitude, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth

moneytreeMoney is a really sensitive topic for most people. Many of us don’t speak about it openly. It’s taboo to talk about it – we cloak money in secrecy – how much we make, how we spend it, and what it means to us. We obsess over it: how to bring it in, keep it, make more of it. For something that is so vital to our survival in the modern world, there is so much (too much) stigma around it.

There are folks out there dedicated to teaching you how to bring money in – abundance coaches – and some of them do it fairly well. All of these abundance coaches all say the same thing (more or less), using similar techniques (more or less), and their programs sometimes work and sometimes don’t. So, if you’ve shelled out money to help an abundance coach make six figures so you could learn how to make six figures but it didn’t do anything but make your pocketbook lighter…don’t feel bad. What works for one person is no guarantee to work for another.

So what’s the deal? Do abundance programs work? Or are they a crock of shit meant to line the pocketbooks of the people who promise their method will make you rich? Honestly? It depends on your energy and what works for you. 

Money, like everything else – is energy. We are energy, our pets are energy, plants are energy, thoughts are energy. The food we eat is energy and  and the money we make and spend is no different. Money is energy. And just like everything else made of energy, we have a relationship with it. We might nurture it and respect it. We might be fearful and anxious around it. We might cling onto it for dear life, afraid to lose it. We might obsess over it like an unrequited love. Whatever we do, we have a relationship with money, and WE are the ones in charge with that relationship. Money doesn’t love you back. Fortunately, it doesn’t hate you, either. What your relationship is with money is entirely up to you. 

You know how Negative Nellies love hanging out with other Negative Nellies? What you think, you attract to yourself. Like attracts like, and we draw to ourselves any and all things that are in sync with our energetic vibration at any given point in time.

Money is just like that.

Here’s what I’ve learned: the more you worry about it and penny pinch, the more you’re drawing that kind of energy around money to you. Unintentionally, we end up rejecting the energy of money by feeling emotions such as fear and resentment about it, or beliefs such as “there’s never enough” and “it will never work out for me.”  Your feelings, attitudes, beliefs and vibrations always lean in one of these directions: towards welcoming or rejecting abundance on an energetic level.

When I was a young adult, my partner and I were very poor. We would go to McDonald’s to split a combo meal for dinner. We could afford little else. One rainy Fall day, she fell ill and needed some tea. We were so poor we didn’t even have mugs, so I went to the dollar store and purchased one mug and one box of tea bags. I remember handing our cash over to the cashier, wincing all the while. We had an air mattress for a bed that doubled as our couch in the daytime hours.  Being the foolish youngins’ we were, we went to IKEA one day after payday and bought some household items. The next day we had to turn around and return them to get our money back – we had forgotten we needed to pay the rent.

You see, I grew up hearing things like, “Money doesn’t grow on trees” and “We’re not rich and we never will be.” Negative thought patterns around money. And whether we want to or not, we pick up the dialogue of our parents/ancestors and carry it with us until we consciously make a decision to break the pattern. I carried those thoughts with me as an adult for well over a decade. I know what being poor feels like. And now, I’ve been able to turn my financial status around not just because of better paying jobs and maturity, but because I’ve completely changed my relationship with money. I ditched the negative thought patterns.

I now consider my relationship with money as I would a relationship with a person. I practice gratitude. I am careful with the way I handle it, but not afraid to lose it. I treat money with respect. I give thanks when it comes into my bank and even when it leaves, for the product or service I am exchanging it for. That might sound like a lot of work  – remembering to thank the Universe for each deposit. But for me, it’s my signal to the Universe that I appreciate it, and want to see more deposits, with gratitude.

The more relaxed I become about money, the easier it becomes for it to flow to me. If you’re looking to change your relationship with money, consider the way you might treat a healthy relationship. Practice gratitude for the money you have (even if it’s barely enough to pay the bills). Signal out to the Universe that you are ready for more to come your way. And for god’s sake, let go of your negative thought patterns around it. Of course money doesn’t grow on trees. But it is energy that can flow to you a heck of a lot easier if you let go of those negative thoughts.

Chat with your money just like you would with your sweetie. What can you do to better your relationship? Try it out and see how it goes. And remember, just like with everything else: you get what you give. You can’t sit around all day and expect money to float into your life (unless you’re a trust fund baby). Action produces results.

Of course, as with the abundance programs: my way is not a “one size fits all”. Chatting with money as if it’s your husband might not work for you, and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something “wrong”. And sometimes, life throws you a curveball that no amount of money lovin’ can change for you. What is most important is changing your negative thought patterns around money, coupled with a feeling of helplessness/victimhood/unable to change your money reality. You can do it. I know you can.

Here’s to abundance!

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Tatiana April 23, 2014 at 9:31 pm

I really enjoyed this post!

There was an entrepreneur who I really liked, who used intuition in her work as a business coach-type person. But she charged so much money that it’s pretty obvious how she was able to make 6 figures in a month (or whatever). Her prices were just so high (and she would just keep raising them). At some point, it begins to feel disingenuous.

It can also feel really monotonous because a lot of people are saying the same thing – as you mentioned in the post. Money is energy. Do X so you can get Y. But coaching in general just reminds me of a snake eating its own tail – your business is teaching other people how to make a business. It’s weird!

Anyway. I always enjoy your posts. They’re so great! I know I have a lot of issues with money, and I need to figure out the best way to work out my own money issues. I think paying my own taxes will helped – since I’ve been freelancing and had to file my own stuff. And I really liked how you mentioned that not everyone’s tactics for changing their money relationship will work for everyone. Even though it’s really obvious, it still needs to be said every once in awhile!

Jonathan June 29, 2014 at 2:52 pm

I am very extremely feeling very extremely thankful for all the money I have now

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