If a website could collect cobwebs, The Daily Awe would be covered in them. There have been many times that I’ve contemplated blogging here, but either forgot, got distracted or didn’t feel inspired enough to hit ‘publish’. I keep a fairly active Facebook page where I post quite a bit, but only a very small number of you are over there. Facebook makes sure not everyone who ‘likes’ the page sees my posts, unless I’m willing to throw a few bucks at them, which I don’t plan to do.
It’s been nearly 5 years since I started this website, and its posts contain so much of my heart, my soul. My energy and love is knitted into the words I’ve shared on my posts, and the emotions tied to this site have been keeping me hanging on to this website, unsure of where to take it. So much growth has happened here on this corner of the Interwebs. I’ve made friends here – both near and far – who have changed my life. I have sharpened and honed my intuitive skills here. I’ve shared my life with many of you. How would I ever let go of the website that has changed my life so profoundly? I can’t. But yet – I get so embarrassed, and feel some level of anxiety, when I visit the site and remember it hasn’t been updated in half a year.
If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to, the short answer is “keeping busy”. Aren’t we all! The long answer? (See below)
Parenthood has shifted my focus. Whereas before I could solely focus on my development, I’m now busy ensuring another little human is developing in a healthy manner. I am a solo parent to my amazing little girl, Evelyn. She’s turning 2 this week. That means she’s growing rapidly, always moving, constantly learning and changing, and entering into the “tantrum” zone. In her two years as my daughter, she has taught me so much. One of the things I’ve learned from Evelyn is to learn how to roll with change and let things flow as they are meant to. Letting go of control – or the façade of it – is something I learned pretty early-on into this parenting foray. Pre-parenthood, I had notions of how I would mother, the things I would do and allow, and what I wouldn’t do, wouldn’t permit. Nearly all of my notions have been tossed out the window, long-forgotten. Mothering has taught me, perhaps more than anything else, to learn to listen to my intuition and hear the whispers that is my inner guidance.
I’ve been doing readings every once in a while, when I have free time. I’ve enjoyed every reading I’ve done over the years, well over 1,000 of them. I have a particular fondness for doing Year Ahead Readings for everyone, and I especially get joy out of hearing how the readings help the folks I do them for. That never gets old. But the truth is – my heart isn’t really in it at the moment. I no longer feel like I have the energy required to dedicate to doing readings like I used to. That’s to be expected, as a solo parent with a full-time job outside of the home, my spare time is usually spent cleaning the house or crashing on the couch after a long day. The time I used to have for readings has disappeared. When this realization fell upon me, I was devastated. For years now, I’ve been dedicating much of my “free” time to doing intuitive readings, and loving it, learning from each one. It was a hard pill to swallow to admit to myself that I no longer have the energy for this. It won’t always be this way – my little one won’t always be this little. For now, though…I’m closing up shop. I will be taking the order page down for readings. I gather comfort in knowing this hiatus is temporary.
Writing my oft-thought about book
My guides have been gently nudging me towards writing a book for a couple years now. More recently, their nudges have turned to loud roars I can’t ignore. I’ve been using more of my time for writing. It’s what I’ve been focusing my energy on, and when I get into “the zone”, the words fly through my fingers almost as if I’m being Divinely Guided (which I believe I am!). I have no real idea of where this writing will take me, but part of the joy in the journey is the unknown. Perhaps my mom and best friend will be the only ones reading my book. Or maybe some of you will, too. I don’t know, but that’s okay. What I do know is, my heart soars when I write, and that’s where I’m being guided to focus my resources on for the time being.
This is not goodbye
Not at all. In fact, in dusting off the cobwebs from this website, inspiration is already hitting. In dedicating my energy to writing, I’ll have more time to devote to sitting down, cracking my knuckles, and sharing stories with all of you. In the meantime, please join me over on Facebook if you aren’t already over there. I’d love to chat with you there!