Are soul mates pre-destined or chosen?

Are soul mates pre-destined or chosen?

When you start to get out into the dating & relationship world, is who you meet part of a Divine design and already set up before you come here, or is there a flexible kind of flow-chart that’s brings random folks into our lives? Robert Ohotto’s latest radio show covered this topic last week.

I should first mention that my definition of a soul mate isn’t what many of us define as a soul mate. I don’t think these people are our “one and only”. No. I think of a soul mate as more of a karma mate.  Someone with whom you have a soul agreement with to grow together on a soul level.

Soul mates are people who impact our lives and help us find out who we are – sometimes that’s through friction and tough times and hard-earned lessons. Not the romantic “Hollywood” idea of what a soul mate is; your “other half” who completes you. You can thank Hollywood for ingraining that warped idea of what a soul mate is into your mind! Soul mates aren’t about being our other half – instead, soul mates mirror us on how we can be whole within ourselves.

Soul mates are: pets, siblings, parents, coworkers, friends, and yes, lovers.

Think about your past relationships: How did you meet the people you were with? How did you feel? What sort of energy did you feel between the two of you?

Robert Ohotto says soul mates are both pre-destined and come into our lives based on our own decisions and actions. He says,

There are some people you can’t help BUT meet – there is no vision board that’s gonna get them there, they are on their way. Some relationships are fated that way. Part of a Divine design and all you’ve gotta do is show up to life and you’ll meet them.

How have you met the people who have had the largest significance in your life? Did you make it happen? Did circumstances lead you to the person in ways that there is no way to explain it except to say it was Divine intervention?

Here’s Robert’s take on the different types of relationships we have and how we can tell if they are soul mate relationships or something else:

Fated relationships: a “must meet” – they usually shape your life in such a profound way that your whole destiny would not be the same if you hadn’t met them. For example, when I was 18 years old I met the woman who became my partner and brought me to Canada. I would say this meeting was set up well before we were born. The things that had to take place before we met were so random, yet we somehow landed on each other’s radar and the rest is history. There’s not a lot I could’ve done to change that.  The bigger energies & people you’re meant to encounter are going to come into your life no matter what you do. You don’t need to panic that you haven’t yet met the right person – you will meet the people you are meant to meet when you are supposed to meet them.  These people usually come into our lives and make a huge impact and stay in our lives for a long time.

Non-fated relationships: People who come into our lives to teach us a lesson, but it could’ve been anyone to teach that particular lesson and not one particular soul. These people usually come into our lives, teach us something or learn from us, and then move on. These relationships are usually short-lived and we get along in our lives without them just fine.

Anyone I’ve met in my life that has been significant to me I met through Divine design – a series of synchronistic events that led us to finding each other. Not on PlentyOfFish or OKCupid or some other contrived, inauthentic way of meeting someone, but through synchronistic circumstances.

Now as I navigate through life, I’ve lost the desperation of the “must find” and know that whoever comes into my life to teach me something will come when we are both good & ready. There is no desperate need. Just show up in life and see what happens.

What are your thoughts on soul mates? Is the Hollywood romantic version true, or are our soul mates karmic soul ‘friends’ we are meant to learn from, teach and grow with? 

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