Although I have been the recipient and giver of many intuitive readings over the past several years, and fully believe in reincarnation, I had never experienced a past life regression. That all changed in my therapist’s office in Downtown Toronto this afternoon.

In the weeks leading up to the regression, I was to listen to an audio file my therapist had given me to help me get into the state I needed to be for the regression to work. She instructed me to listen to it every night for two weeks. As a busy working mother, I only had a chance to listen to the audio a handful of times, and I fell asleep every time. Still, I felt confident that with my spirit guide team as support and my soul as ready as it would ever be, I’d have a good experience. I was open, ready to hear about what issues or feelings I might be carrying with me from past lives into this one.

As the regression practitioner eased me into the trance-like state, my eyes began to twitch & flutter. I could feel myself in between worlds – I could hear and feel my therapist, the chair I was sitting in, the music in the room. But I could also feel what felt like floating in the ether.

The therapist gently guided me to come upon a life I needed to remember – a life from which I’m still carrying baggage. She asked me what I felt and saw. I looked down and noticed my feet – I had brown skin, and a man’s feet! I was wearing a white, flowy tunic with loose-fitting trousers and sandals. Immediately, a sadness washed over me. My wife – who I had loved very much – had died, leaving me with two teen children. My mental health plummeted after her death, and my children went to live with their maternal grandparents. I became isolated, lonely, and willed myself to find death. Neighbours (one of whom never gave up on me, and I learned is now my best friend Sarah in this lifetime) brought me soup, meats, tried to get me to come out of my misery. I would not.

At this point in the session, I was sobbing, shoulders heaving, feeling as if I had lost my wife – and children – all over again.

Eventually, I rowed out to the sea in my dinghy boat, and begged the gods to take my life. They did not. Eventually in that lifetime, overcome with grief, mental illness and loneliness, I slit my wrists and died.

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At this point, my therapist asked me: what is the message you were meant to learn from seeing this life again?

The message came to me, and then she asked me if I wanted to explore another lifetime. I did.

Eventually, I found myself as an older woman with white, wrinkled hands. Draped in a thick fur coat, I was trudging through ice and snow to find my way to my adult daughter’s house. In that lifetime, I had an alcoholic husband who left my daughter and I when my child was only 2. I became distant, cold, bitter and again – profoundly lonely. I didn’t give my daughter the love and affection she needed from a mother in that lifetime.

Turns out, the daughter in that lifetime is my (now) daughter I gave birth to through surrogacy, Noa.

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I made my way to my daughter’s house, where I asked for her forgiveness, and permission to be a part of my grandson’s life. The weather was so cold. My daughter never opened her heart fully to me in that lifetime, never sure if she could trust my love or allow her guard to come down. Eventually I died from liver failure, with my daughter at my death-bed. In the end, she had put aside her wounds to be with me and say goodbye and share loving words.

Again, my therapist asked what message/lesson I was to pick up from this lifetime. I quickly got the message and at this point the hypnotherapist gently guided me back to the present and “woke” me up from the hypnotism.

We talked about the messages & lessons I was meant to take from re-experiencing these lives. The lives I “remembered” were absolutely the ones I needed to get the answers I have sought in this one.

I left the therapist’s office thinking a few things:

  • What the hell just happened to me?
  • How could this be — is this real?!
  • Yes, yes it’s real.
  • Have I lost my mind?
  • I feel lighter somehow, already!

I feel confident these were real experiences my soul went through. I felt the deep, painful grief as if my body was wracked with it all over again as a man who had lost everything he loved. And as an older woman, the freezing temperatures, as if I was living it all again, so much so that my teeth were chattering during this part of the session.

This past life regression brought a few important lessons to my awareness, and has allowed me to release some of the things I have held on to for who knows how long. I feel more open to receiving things I had resisted. I feel so much lighter. It’s as if learning what I was carrying gave me permission to let them go, once and for all.

If you are in Toronto and looking for a gentle therapist who offers past life regression sessions, I can thoroughly recommend Dr. Renuka Gupta.

If you’d like an intuitive reading from me to remember & rediscover some of your own past lives, check out my intuitive readings page.



Children of the Dirt

by Lindsay on February 10, 2015

in Inspiration, Relationships

My parents were here in Toronto visiting this past weekend, and it was so wonderful to have my home filled with love and family and laughter. When they left yesterday and my daughter and I came home to an empty house, I sat down and cried; I felt so alone. My family all lives a 5-6 hour drive away. I’m single. Yes, I have my daughter. I also have an incredible network of friends I see often, with whom I share love & life, and I’m forever grateful. But sometimes? Sometimes I feel lonely. 

Have you ever felt so lonely you were certain you were the loneliest person in the world? I have a story to share with you that may (dare I say will) change your perspective.

The story is by Simon Rich and it’s called “The Children Of The Dirt.” You can listen to him tell it on NPR’s Invisibilia Podcast here.

According to Aristophanes, there were originally three sexes:

  • the children of the Moon who were half-male and half-female;
  • the children of the Sun who were fully male;
  • and the children of the Earth, who were fully female.

Everyone had four legs, four arms and two heads, and spent their days in blissful contentment. Zeus became jealous of the humans’ joy so he decided to split them all in two.

Aristophanes called this punishment the “origin of love”, because ever since, the children of the Earth, Moon and Sun have been searching the globe in a desperate bid to find their other halves. Aristophanes’ story is incomplete because there was also a fourth sex – the children of the Dirt.

Unlike the other three sexes, the children of the dirt consisted of just one half. Some were male and some were female and each had just two arms, two legs and one head.

The children of the dirt found the children of the Earth, Moon and Sun to be completely insufferable. Whenever they saw a two-headed creature walking by, talking to itself in baby-talk voices, it made them want to vomit. They hated going to parties and when there was no way to get out of one, they sat in the corner, too bitter and depressed to talk to anybody. The children of the dirt were so miserable that they invented wine and art to dull their pain. It helped a little, but not really. When Zeus went on his rampage he decided to leave the children of the dirt alone. “They’re already screwed”, he explained.

Present Day 

  • Happy gay couples descend from the children of the Sun;
  • Happy lesbian couples descend from the children of the Earth;
  • Happy straight couples descend from the children of the Moon.

But the vast majority of humans are descendants of the children of the dirt. And no matter how long they search the earth, they’ll never find what they’re looking for because there’s nobody for them, not anybody in the world.

Did that last sentence sink in? In this story, the vast majority of humans are descendants of the children of the dirt. So what does that mean? Even if you’re buried deep in your loneliness, you are not alone. And in fact, there is someone for you  all of the other children of the dirt who long for companionship, friendship and love, too.

In our loneliness, we often feel like there’s no one around who will understand us, or love us, or want to hug us, or go out for lunch with us, or any other number of “lonely person” thoughts that can eat away at us. You may think of yourself as “different from the others”. But you’re not, not at the core. We all long to connect. We all have human hearts put on this earth to love and be loved. And guess what? We all – even those surrounded by others – feel lonely sometimes.

So the next time you feel lonely, ask yourself what it would it take to help you feel less alone. I have a suggestion: Reach out to someone – an email, a smile for a stranger on the street, conversation with the grocery store clerk, call up an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a year. You may be connecting with a fellow “Child of the Dirt” and be reminded that indeed, we’re all connected, always, even in our loneliness.



Cobwebs & Changes

February 5, 2015

If a website could collect cobwebs, The Daily Awe would be covered in them. There have been many times that I’ve contemplated blogging here, but either forgot, got distracted or didn’t feel inspired enough to hit ‘publish’. I keep a fairly active Facebook page where I post quite a bit, but only a very small number of you are […]

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4 year “blogiversary” and birthday celebration – with a giveaway!

July 17, 2014

It’s been 4 years now since I started blogging here at The Daily Awe. 4 years!  It started off as a way to satiate my desire to write and talk about my journey on a path to self-healing, discovery and intuitive development. I look back at some of my first articles and cringe. I’m happy to […]

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Soulful Parenting – a review and a giveaway

May 27, 2014

My little girl is a dreamer – she’s often in her own little world, head in the clouds, laughing at her own private jokes. I often wonder what it is she’s thinking about; does she still remember what it’s like to be on the Other Side? Sometimes Evelyn will point to “nothing” (seriously, she’ll point […]

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How to improve your relationship with money

April 21, 2014

Money is a really sensitive topic for most people. Many of us don’t speak about it openly. It’s taboo to talk about it – we cloak money in secrecy – how much we make, how we spend it, and what it means to us. We obsess over it: how to bring it in, keep it, […]

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When your intuition fails you

March 20, 2014

Last weekend, friends of mine were discussing the Year Ahead Readings I’d done for them for 2014. We’re well into March, and much of what their readings said have come to fruition. Toot toot! My friend Laura asked me if I’d done a reading for myself, to which I responded, “No. I can’t do readings for […]

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Where is my soulmate?

February 14, 2014

It’s February – the month of love. The month of chocolates, flowers, mushy cards and other expressions of affection for that special someone.  It’s also the month in which The Daily Awe gets the most people visiting, wishing and longing for their soul-mate and wondering where he or she is. Someone recently came to the site after searching, “I’m […]

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Planning your next life: the good, the bad and the painful

January 16, 2014

If you’ve ever been hurt, betrayed, abused, devastated or disappointed…you’re human. And you might have agreed to the event before you were born. Caroline Myss says when we’re ready to come into a new life, we make our soul plans, map out our soul contracts and agreements, and prepare as much as possible for what lies […]

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When things don’t go as planned

December 15, 2013

Last year at this time, I was 36+ weeks pregnant, about to go on my year-long maternity leave to take care of my soon-to-be-born daughter. I had visions of how we would spend our days: lots of cuddles, reading, swimming lessons, music. During Evelyn’s naps, I planned to do as much work for The Daily […]

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