A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a friend who was telling me how much she can’t stand Toronto and can’t wait to get out of this city. Hey – sometimes I feel the same way, can’t blame her. She was lamenting over her mediocre relationship, her crappy job & lack of expendable income and decided that moving would be the answer to all of her problems. After a few minutes of complaining, she had an epiphany of sorts: she’s moved around a fair bit in her adult life and realized the same “crappy” thing happens in each city. She then realized the only constant was her. I share this story because I think a lot of us can relate: if we could only change this, that or the other thing, we’d be happier. And while that may be true, it’s not always the case.
Wherever you go, there you are.
I used to think that saying was so stupid and pointless. It’s like saying “It is what it is.” Well, duh. It’s only been in the past several months that I’ve really understood what that means. I think I wasn’t fully ready to embrace the concept – that no matter where I am, who I’m with or where I’m working I am responsible for my happiness. No person, place or thing can – or should – responsible for my happiness. Happiness is an inside job.
So, what does “Wherever you go, there you are” mean? It means that it doesn’t matter if you change jobs, cities, relationships or the style of underwear you wear. If haven’t made peace with yourself, if you haven’t found happiness within yourself, then it doesn’t matter if you land the “perfect job” in your ideal city after marrying your dream-come-true soul mate. You’ll still be you – and if you’re not happy inside, then you will find fault with your outer life.
Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the things we’re doing and that which we want that we forget to enjoy the process. We think we will relax when we “get there”, when we “arrive”. Then and only then will we finally be happy – we’ll do fun things and think happy thoughts and live a happy life. Now isn’t a good time for it b/c we don’t have this, that or the other thing.
Let’s give a different perspective a try: Tell yourself you’ve already arrived. You’re exactly where you should be. Everything that’s in your life is exactly what you need at this juncture in your journey. Wherever you go, there you are. So take a deep breath…and then let yourself feel some peace.
Just for today, be happy in the place you are now.