How souls choose their parents and families

How souls choose their parents and families

by Lindsay on October 10, 2013

in Relationships, Souls

Screen shot 2013-10-08 at 12.00.37 PMYears before my baby girl was born, I had a dream that I had a daughter. She came to me and gave me a hug, told me I was her mother, and told me her name was Evelyn. That dream imprinted on my memory and my heart. So much so that when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was carrying a girl, and she had already told me her name: Evelyn. Meaning wished for child, which couldn’t be more true!

In order to evolve, our souls come to Earth more than once.  I know that as I’ve grown and changed and learned about soul contracts and reincarnation, my thoughts and beliefs have gravitated to this notion.  For those of you who are on the fence about reincarnation, I invite to you to explore the idea that a soul is born into a (different) body for many lifetimes.

It is my belief that once a soul has made the decision to have (another) earthly incarnation, the first step is to decide on what kind of life they want. This is contingent upon what lessons they wish to learn. This involves being matched with a parent or set of parents. This process really depends on the soul’s purpose and desire for specific lessons and lifestyle.

For example,  if two souls had been together before perhaps as a mother and daughter set, then they might wish to relive that experience again or perhaps relive it in reverse, so the daughter becomes the mother in the new lifetime. Sometimes the soul wishes to incarnate in a particular part of the world, and the choice will be less specific to the individual parent.  As diverse as people are, so are our souls and what we wish to create and experience in our lifetime(s).

Once this connection to a potential parent is made, the soul then createes a connection to that person and is present around their energy, waiting to be born at the right time. When I do intuitive readings for clients, I often see the souls of their unborn children waiting for them. I can usually tell if the child is a boy or a girl, and may also get a sense of what they are meant to experience together in this lifetime.

The book Spirit Babies: How to Communicate with the Child You’re Meant to Have is a collection of stories from an intuitive gentleman who spent decades connecting parents with their unborn children. When I do a reading, I cannot guarantee I’ll pick up information about potential unborn children, but more often than not, I do ‘see’ them if they are with you and going to be joining your family in the future.

Of course, parents also have significant influence as to which soul joins their family through conception. Our daily thoughts, desires and purposes create a beacon for souls who respond to these energies. This is particularly true of the mother. According to the Edgar Cayce readings, a woman’s daily activities and inner thoughts during the gestation period create a field much like a magnet would, attracting souls to the field of opportunity life as her child would offer.

As far as families with more than one child, souls also make soul contract/agreements with potential siblings. The energy field and desire of the mother and the souls wanting to incarnate combine to make the decision as to who is born first. I like to imagine my sisters and I floating in the Ether on the “Other Side” deciding to go first, and I in my oldest child splendor and glory pushed through and said, “Me first, of course!” In the case of miscarriage, I’ve noticed that particular soul often comes in through a later pregnancy if the opportunity is presented. I’ve also seen one instance where the miscarried child from a woman went on to be born into her best friend’s family. 

I’ve done readings for folks who have shared a myriad of past lives with the same group of souls – soul groups – all taking turns being siblings, parents and children. One thing I’m certain after doing hundreds of readings is…we certainly do choose our family members, the location we will incarnate, and the different life events that will take place. It is empowering and so very touching for me to know my family members and I chose each other. I feel especially honored that my daughter chose me. What a gift she has given me in this lifetime.

Do you believe souls choose our parents? Do you have any stories of children (or you) remembering past lives and connections in them? 

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Julie Barrett October 10, 2013 at 8:20 pm

Lindsay, People tell me All Of The Time that Fred must have chosen me for a mother, because no one would fight for him and honor/protect his gifts the way that I do. People who do not Woo. That always makes me laugh, because it seems so true!

I’ve often wondered if Luke was going to come in the second pregnancy but I think not. There is surely divine timing to everything and family dynamics would be so different if they weren’t so far apart in age. I *know* the two boys made an agreement to be brothers! They are like night and day and fight/love with great passion. I have no idea why they chose us for parents but there’s a reason for everything, I guess!

Loved what you said about,”Me, first!” :)

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Lindsay October 11, 2013 at 7:10 am

Without a doubt, Fred chose you (and vice versa!). You seem like you were just built to be his advocate and ally in all of this. I wonder what he has done for you in past lives – was he your parent? It all makes me so curious, but of course I know we don’t really need to know while we are incarnated at this time.

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Tatiana October 11, 2013 at 12:48 am

I believe in this, definitely. There’s a book called COSMIC CRADLE which is about this idea exactly. And it’s a super thick book about toddlers talking about them being born, what their life was like as a Soul, and why/how they picked their parents. It’s REALLY interesting.

Sometimes it’s difficult for me to come to terms with my Soul having chosen my specific body (since it’s not the type of body I’d want, ironically) or the type of family I have or the country I was born in. (I often wish I was a beautiful girl – who can date whoever I want, and who is desired by everyone – and lives in a village/small town in Europe with a wealthy family who give me all the material things I crave. My life is SO FAR – SOOOOO FAAAAAR – from my fantasy. It’s like the total and complete opposite. It pisses me off).

But I love reincarnation and I love this idea of a Soul choosing their family/body. It puts a lot more in perspective – but I’m still pretty bitter about my life and my body.

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Lindsay October 11, 2013 at 7:11 am

Hi Tatiana,

I am going to have to check out that book you mentioned. Sounds right up my alley!

I’m wondering if perhaps your fantasy is an actual past life you’ve had? Maybe you just long for that memory because it was such a good incarnation for you. Or maybe, just maybe, it can be your next one.

I know you’re not the only one left wondering why on god’s green earth they chose a certain body and family. Sometimes, it is a confusing thought….why would my higher self CHOOSE THIS?! Ahhhh.

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erica October 11, 2013 at 2:48 pm

I believe this completely!!
My mother was the one that pointed it out to me.
Before I had my children I would always give my mother three angels as gifts for her birthday. There was always three, two girl angels and one boy angel.
years later I had three children, one boy and two girls.
My son when he was 4 or so would tell me he picked me to be his mommy because he wanted me to be happy because I was always crying. Before I had my son we had a couple of miscarriages that really suckerpunched me, I have never told anyone about my state before my son. It really got me off guard. My son also talked about were he had to wait before I could be his mommy. He said it was a large yellow room that was very clean and warm. He said he really liked it there but wanted to come and make me happy.

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Ayla October 11, 2013 at 3:18 pm

I’m not sure about the parents thing. I never have quite clicked with my parents and the relationships had always been strained. However, I strongly believe in the possibility that my three daughters were all my siblings in another lifetime, and that this time around my body was simply the vessel in which to bring them here and us together again. We don’t quite have a mother/daughters dynamic so much as we seem to have always had a sisterhood. People often speak of “young souls” or “old souls” and I believe mine has always hovered around the tween age. It explains much of our relationship together. And it certainly makes it more fun!

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CarolynH October 3, 2014 at 3:50 pm

Not clicking with your parents doesn’t mean you didn’t choose them to be your parents for a reason. IF you have read any of the books written by Dr. Weiss one of his books lays out an interesting regression of an alcoholic who had a miserable childhood with adopted parents. Dr. Weiss initially did not want this man as a patient because alcoholics do not make good subjects as a rule, finally he made a deal with the man to enter rehab if Dr.Weiss would regress him. What he learned was when he was making his soul contract to return here it was “strongly” recommended the adoptive parents in this life would be the parents – he knew from prior lives these were two really tough souls and groaned at the thought, but chose them anyway (again as “suggested”)…….. there is much more to the story and I won’t ruin it for you, but the bottom line is nothing is happenstance, it is for us to learn in this life – a life on earth is not meant to be a cakewalk.

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Lindsey October 11, 2013 at 3:41 pm

I totally believe in this concept! I have had 5 people tell me in the past year that we have a little girl waiting to become our daughter. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about a year and a half now. Sometimes with the fertility journey is trying, I just remind myself that she is there and how much I am looking forward to meeting her.

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Rachelle October 11, 2013 at 9:22 pm

My mom died 5 years before my daughter was born. When she was 3 we were returning home from an out-of-state visit to my mom’s family. We were riding quietly through the mountains when she said she remembered seeing my mom in Heaven, when she herself was still in God’s hands. She remembered my mom wearing her long hair pulled back in a barrette. We had not had a lengthy or descriptive conversation about my mom at that time. She hadn’t even seen pictures. She just knew my mom was in Heaven with God. I couldn’t even respond or turn around. I just sat there, looking at the river below crying.
There have been many more of these kinds of moments as she has grown. She is now 10. This little girl is very special, and I believe with all of my heart that she and God chose my husband and me because we needed her. Way more than we ever knew.

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Eric Holmes October 13, 2013 at 12:46 am

I was still quite difficult to understand what you write, but this is precisely the greater interest, Greetings

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Gav October 16, 2013 at 8:37 am

I definitely think we choose our parents, however I don’t feel I was ever on this Earth before.

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Simon October 21, 2013 at 7:26 am

I really enjoyed reading your post. I also believe that we choose the family and environment that we want to be born in which ties in with the experiences that we want to have whilst in our physical bodies on this earth and we do this again and again with the same family members.

I agree that this realization is very empowering.

Thanks for sharing your post.

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Ryan Biddulph October 22, 2013 at 3:32 am

Without a doubt Lindsay. I also believe in reincarnation. Knowing the infinite, perfect nature of the Universe, I believe that any soul which inhabits a human or animal body, especially if the body undergoes great suffering, as we see here in the street dogs of India, that soul is experiencing something for future, different, lives.

Love the message here. Thank you Lindsay :)

Ryan

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Evan November 18, 2013 at 11:38 am

I find this very interesting, but on the other hand I wonder about children who were born into horrible lives of abuse and suffering. Did they choose that? Is there a purpose for it if they did? A test maybe for the parents to love them and treat them right?
I also wonder about animals. Sometimes I feel like I look at them and I know there is someone in there with feelings, just unable to communicate the way people do. They do seem to gravitate to me. Is that strange?

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Annie May 21, 2014 at 2:10 am

how about having an abusive mother that has left painful scars in her daughter?? how did I choose a mom like that? I am in my 30′s now, and I wish I had a connection mother-daughter like most people do, instead I have a mom that was not good to me, she physically and emotionally has hurt me and she still does hurts other people like my brother who is closer in location to her, I am glad I don’t live close to her. I wish I felt different about my mother. I do pray to God to help her, but I can’t be close to her she is not good to me and to many people that loved her. what kind of mother says that “the day your dad dies I’m going to dance wearing red”, meaning she was going to celebrate it what an awful thing to say when my father has terminal cancer going trough suffering and pain. (my parents have been divorced for 15 years now) why she has to be like that??… I have two kids that I adore and are my life I can not imagine being so destructive to my angels.

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jade May 25, 2014 at 10:43 am

Nobody would choose a mom like ours, she was a mother from hell. It was not like your angelic mothers. It was hell in her hands. Dark and full of sufferings.. my brother suffered of so much abuse and neglect and become delinquent. The scars and echoes of the past .. is still chasing us.. even in our dreams. Even if she died already.

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jade May 25, 2014 at 10:45 am

same here

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Jodi May 25, 2014 at 11:41 pm

I have an easy time understanding the basic concepts of soul reincarnation, souls without bodies, guides etc. While I can grasp the concept of souls choosing lives in order to learn things, grow in a specific way and experience something new in order to learn a new lesson.. BUT what doesn’t seem to logically go along with this process is, as others have mentioned, people who suffer greatly here on earth. It is first of all, very difficult for anyone with compassion to accept that something like an african woman living in poverty being raped and mutilated, contracting aids or some other horrible disease and maybe even being killed by her own drugged up child-soldier son- has chosen that life to experience in order to learn and grow..! I know that many people who experience terrible things DO evolve, DO learn lessons and use that knowledge to either become a better person, a better mother, a motivational speaker or author, or have a dedication to volunteering and changing the future of the world with the insights they have received through difficult times.. BUT- What about the truly helpless? What about that woman in Africa? Did her soul really understand the lessons even though she was given no resources to do so? I mean, yes everything is completely different at a spiritual level, and so maybe she did.. But what the hell kind of a lesson was that and how necessary was the intense method of instruction? A lot to think about and consider, of course.. but its is frustrating for me sometimes, as a soul having a human experience, to understand. The answers for difficult questions like this that make somewhat sense still never seem complete and they just never feel comfortable to accept. How can a soul in a human body say “its all meant to be, and everything in the universe is perfect as it is”- when you think of the situations some people face?

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Aidan Tavendale July 5, 2014 at 6:16 am

Dear Lindsay,

Do you believe Astologically we choose our parents?

From my own upbringing and life experience, I must have been a horrible person in a past life…because I was born to a Mother who was unable to love me, and say no more really.

Just when I think I’ve dealt with it all, the rejection comes back and says, hey “I’m still very much here”. At 41, it’s been such a long road, and its still long and horrible some days…

Which is why I honestly think, we MUST choose our parents in a past life to learn lessons in this one…

Aidan.

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evasamantha July 18, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Experiences you percieve as bad are not punishments. Remember that when you are living in truth there is no such thing as good or bad, there is no punishments. We simply attract to us experiences based on where our souls energy is currently “vibrating” from thoughts and feelings. Feeling victimized by a certain circumstance is just your ego trying to make everything, including other people “right” or “wrong”. No experience is bad, because no experience means anything about you or other people. It was just a thought that created an outcome, and now that experience is over. At any time you can let it go, and be here in reality, right now. Where there is no bad or good.

I once loved a man who had a very good life. He was born into middle class, had a decent enough job, nice friends and family. No bad experiences or major problems. He would constantly tell me he hated his life, that he never would have chosen this. There was really nothing wrong, many have it much worse, he simply wasnt in touch enough with here and now to have gratitude and a bigger perspective. He helped me to learn to look at the good things in life, and when you do even experiences that seemed horrifically bad start to seem insignificant, “hey, this is just a shadow of the past. I can let it go.” Every person incarnated on earth will be deeply hurt by another at some point, if it’s not your mother it’s your boyfriend, your sister-in-law, your teacher, the mailman. The question is, why are we hurting ourselves over and over and over again?

“Burdens are for shoulders strong enough to carry them.” – Gone With the Wind

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evasamantha July 18, 2014 at 7:13 pm

Apologies, I didn’t mean to reply specifically to your comment, but to everyone.:)

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Anka July 5, 2014 at 8:33 pm

Hi, everyone
Namaste
I’m a Hindu, and yes “reincarnation” is part of the teachin of Hinduism.

There’s different form of reincarnating.

One type of reincarnating, is based on the your present life. For instance, if you feel like you were born to the wrong family, community etc
Its not by mistake, it was meant for you to learn and experience other types of lifestyles. Maybe you were greedy filthy rich person in your previous life and now the universe yes the cosmic space is the witness to all and everythin. So therefore, its called karmic reincarnation

The other reason could be because of “advancement”. You want to accelerate in your new life, move forward to fulfill your un-accomplished or un-finished work, therefore you manifested in your previous life that you reincarnate to a fortunate family and you do.

One thing, I want to add is whatever you do now will effect your reincarnation process,
yes it does play a role. Some people are born into animals, others who’ve mocked people and use to claim power come back as weak and disable in their new life. Also people who have ‘limited’ thinkin/mind dont change much in their lifes that they reincarnate to..

I was a boy in my previous life, I died at the age of 10yrs old, I killed myself. Threw myself from top of a hill, couple miles away from where I lived. I kept seeing in a dream that I was falling off a hill, one of my guru said our dreams could sometimes be flashback of our past life. Alright back to the subject, the reason was because I saw my mother being burnt alive, back then in the small town we lived there was no firefighters and our house the windows had metal bars so there was no way to escape. We lived in a big house, and there was couple other ladies there too, could’ve been my auntes or older siblings. I guess I couldn’t accept the fact of what I witnessed, it was too much of a tragedy so I tooked off and killed myself. I kept seeing my dad sitting on that hill and telling me, I’ll miss you. He looked lonely and destroyed. This was in Scottland

In my present life, I learned not to run away from my problems/fears but rather to accept and face it head on.
I’m working to be a advanced human/entity and open myself up for channel-ing other beings.

Hope I shun a light to somethin new for you all, With much love.

Spread the love

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Dawn July 31, 2014 at 8:43 pm

I just want to share to some people that some belief will take away your compassion, gentleness to people and being who are suffering ( satan deceives), as well as the vibration and channeling is form of sorcery and witchcraft, If you are a Christian or even an Islam (It is written in the Bible nor Qu’ran) not to engage in this things). God hate this things..

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Dawn July 31, 2014 at 8:49 pm

Do not be numb to anyone that suffers. Love, Tenderness, Compassion Generosity… it is a nurturer for the soul and healthy for our souls. It what the true God is telling us.. not any form of belief. ( Please embrace, hugs those who suffer.. and tell them that they are important in this world).

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pissy mist August 2, 2014 at 3:23 am

Hi there! I enjoyed the poignant scene you painted with little Evelyn’s ‘path’, so please don’t take this as harsh, but I am appalled with what vedic teaching has done to post-Christian suburban white society. I got here on a lark, just googling around on questions (since life makes no sense, I always have questions!), and I don’t have answers (duh) but I still disagree with you. I admire the eastern philosophy, but I have a more schopenhauerian appreciation, a certain pitch of pessimism that I think if you don;t detect a degree of mulish resentment to existence in the prose I think youmiss out on something profound.

SO anyway, my main contention with this whole reincarnation thing is that it doesn’t explain life as a desired phenomenon, predictably emerging from a prior order-i.e reincarnation doesn’t explain intentionality in a way that can bridge the mental disconnect btwn the infinite and the finite. From down here, ‘god’s’ morality would be called immoral if us suffering serfs didn’t know better, and likewise for ‘his’ sense of purpose. Generally, whatever power ‘god’ has, he has to bring beings/things into existence to manipulate them. So even if manipulation takes such form as a contrived purpose, the fact remains that the non-existent are beyond all purpose, all fear or favor, beyond good and evil, beyond god. How is god going to improve on this? Even if I am (part of (an undivided)) divine conscious, I must be some kind of asshole to leave bliss to introduce suffering/imperfection as a mechanism to….get back where I started from. ANd all on a whim , because I am tired of the eternal warmth, I wanna lose my spiritual tan on this cold, heartless, inimical planet. The only good thing about earthly life is it may give you a solemn appreciation for extended somnolence.

Furthermore, soul is the only thing losing a tan-I was born in Equatorial Africa! Now, I’m not an ‘oxfam commercial’ alumnus, although I am rather reedy, but I still feel I am entitled to ask; whose. bright. Idea. Was THIS? Mine, you say? Well all I can say to that is a) fuck you shut up or b) you must know my criteria and weightings better than I do personally! c) which really both amount to the same thing, as incredulous responses to epistemologically dubious scenarios. Nevertheless, as convincingly pointless as life as a human seems to be, there has GOT to be some kind of prize for being born in Africa. And this isn’t the first instance of karma holdin a brotha down-look at all them billions of dalit niggas in Kerala or wherever! I’d rather think my life is an accident of blind, dead matter than it’s a karmic punishment or a redundant soul trip. None of these explanations make sense, but the latter are less alienating, while the first gives a justifiable hope that after this life we are DONE! So should I reconcile myself to a manifestly pointless Manifestation, or should I hasten to the standard of Reason, that devaluer (devourer?) of all values? Heart or head? And even if I am inclined to ‘hear’….why? As I told my christian friend (who is of certain Kiekegaardian opinions vis a vis the ‘leap of faith’), don’t you need a reason to abandon reason? If not, why did you ever pick it up? The rub is because reason requires a certian consistency/steadfastness, and the system is presumed to also be stable nd predictable. Looking at this system, if I had a chance to decline birth, and didn’t, now there’s an abandonment of reason! Left stranded in the middle of the arbitrarctic, without a paddle.

My life is a repeatable tragedy inflicted on an unsuspecting nonentity every few seconds in africa. My conception was a non-event resulting from my parents pursuing a throwaway fuck in a manner repeated up and down this continent literally billions of times a year. I am self aware enough to realise that, as an atheist, I resent the idea of god, this whimsical jerkwad who just sits around watching us suffer and hurt each other (goes for all life) (there is no god-and I hate him! Seriously though the Cathars, Patarenes etc (gnostics ) were onto something with that demiurge stuff. They were also antinatalists. What did they know that we are *ignorant* of?). I hate the idea of being god’s helpless pets, condemned to endure his odious company just because he couldn’t sit still and be quiet for one measly eternity! And collapsing this ‘out there’ god to the concrete reality of little old me is not very helpful, except as a neat mental dodge, the buck stops with me, because I can’t start the duck. Otherwise I’d crouch behind my podium and let the blame for a sloppy universe hit some eager-beaver ‘lean-in’ type-A sucker. Seriously, this is not something I would own up to or put my name on. Matter of fact, life just is. There’s no-one to thank or blame. There is nothing to strive for, and compared to existence, nothing(ness) really is worth striving for. So let’s not blame god, the universe (sans mind), The Universe (suffused with Conscious), santa flaws, or even DNA and the relevant instincts. The only things to do with this life are mitigate, and terminate.

Please do excuse the tldr. I am trying to rephrase a piercingly nihilistic articl i read; it was intended for monothiests, so I had to put the salient info in more personal illustrations or more ‘ woo-woo’ terms. Discounting the monotheistic framing of the argument (as did I), you should be able to have some wicked epic funnies/ epiphanies (groan!). I want you to read carefully, and think deeply, on the article below, is god our benefactor? You are an intellectually engaged soul, with the blog as an active platform. I think a little head-stretching would be eminently proper! http://www.philosophyoflife.org/jpl201309.pdf

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Juanita September 16, 2014 at 10:27 am

My five year old daughter told me that while she was in heaven she searched and searched for her Mommy and Daddy and when she found us she jumped right into my tummy! I simply told her “i know darling, I chose you too”! Love!

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Terry October 23, 2014 at 6:28 am

When my daughter was learning how to talk we were driving in the car and I looked over at this little person who seemed to appear out of nowhere and changed my life..I asked her, “Where did you come from?” She said I picked you, then started to tell me this specific matter of fact story about playing with the other kids, God called her in and they looked at monitors on a wall lined up, God showed her many familys and told him about the different parents what they did and how they were, together God and her picked Me and my wife, My daughter hadn’t really been taught about God, monitors, traveling through time and space, she could barely talk in full sentences , but this day she went on and on in detail, I was amazed,I never believed in reincarnation, just heaven, so in my research I started to find out this happens a lot? Im just now learning and researching about this, my daughters 12 now. thought id share.

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Valstand November 10, 2014 at 12:34 am

How about the case of Scott McMillan a three years old boy who was was found murdered in his home in Chester County by his parents, and mother’s love.. abused, battered, killed.. suffered a lot before he died? Do you think he choose his parents ? Does this tap your conscience as a person, to believe in such wicked belief, made by Satan to trick you…Satan isn’t stupid.. and take of there compassion to those who suffers.

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Mia November 17, 2014 at 1:40 pm

My belief is that no matter how tragic a family relationship can be, it was the souls choice to experience those life lessons and experiences. Souls are not hated or put in a hierarchy over others. We have all probably gone through various painful lifetimes, but I know for a fact we will also be given second chances and opportunities for better lives after we understand those lessons.

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